The First Mentoring Story
As a young male in the late 50’s being raised by a father in a single-parent home my circumstances were very poor on the best day. Not having any recollection of Mom and being in somewhat of a turbulent environment, by the time I reached the true teenage years my self-esteem was very low and ambition was not part of my makeup.
For one reason or another I chose to join band. Band taught me that I had a place to fit in, I was accepted for my own worth, and I was a member of the team regardless of looks, finances, or ability. As time went on I got more into the spirit of band and obviously I made band directing my career. For me to go to college, much less graduate, was an absolute miracle.
By the second week of teaching I wanted to drive back to the very university that I now work for and ask for my tuition money back! I realized quickly that I did not know a thing about what a first year teacher should do! In my fourth year of teaching I was planning to go to my hometown about 170 miles away from where I was working for the weekend. After a long Friday, I packed up my reel-to-reel tape recorder in the back of my ’73 Buick and headed off. On Saturday morning, I went by the music store to take an instrument or two for repair and to look at music. The local music merchant greeted me cordially. In the music display area was a man we called the “Godfather” of the band directors of our state. The proprietor, Mr. Dan Wright of Wright Music said, “David, do you know Mr. Cook?” and I said, “Yes, I know God”. We shook hands and nervously I walked around as I did not really know him.
A few minutes later Mr. Cook very solemnly walked up to me and said, “David, did you record your band this week?” and I said, “Sure, I recorded just yesterday.” and he asked if I had the tape with me. I told him that I had it in my trunk and he asked if he could listen to it. I told him that there was no way in the world that I would let him listen to a second of that tape. He insisted that he really wanted to listen to it and I insisted back that there would be absolutely no way that he would. About that time someone got his attention, and I snuck around through the back of the store and watched carefully until I could not find him. When I saw that he was not around I scurried to the door and headed out to my car only to see Mr. Cook leaning against my trunk blocking me from backing out, waiting for me. Yes, my heart was racing. He looked at me straight faced and solemnly said, “David, I really want to help you. I love listening to bands and seeing what other people are doing. I will be gentle, there will be no making fun, and I am going to hear this tape.”
We went back into the store office. I gave him the score to the march and he put on the head phones. I cut the machine on and in five seconds he waved to cut it off. I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT HE SAID! “The Db between your bassoon and third bone is out of tune. Have the bone play it short 5th.” I just looked at him and agreed. He then looked at me like I was (and rightfully so) ignorant and told me pointedly, “Aren’t you going to write that down, you will never remember all this.” Well, I got a legal pad and started. When I left we had more than three legal pad pages of one line each “to doers” and how to “fix” it. (Note: fix is a southern term that means correct, repair, etc.)
Needless to say I felt overwhelmed with the task that Mr. Cook had given me. I went home to my “bachelor pad” which basically consisted of a bed, a folding table, two chairs and a stereo stand. I sat at the table and stared at that pad with total anxiety. I separated the items into what I could handle in each individual sectional rehearsal and what I could do with the full band. Oh, what a productive week I had! Not only was my lesson plan written, I had to put a time frame on each segment. Talk about a lesson on pacing. I knew that it had been a very productive week and the students REALLY knew it. On Thursday of that week I called and asked if he would be at the store on Saturday again and thus began a ten year relationship with him coaching me. Even though I got to where I could to go festival without him, I NEVER went without him.
Later on, in my thirteenth year of teaching someone asked me to hear their tape. It was set up between a music representative and a person that was struggling and would let no one come in their band room. When I met with him I remember doing exactly the same thing that Mr. Cook had done with me. By the time three years were up I could start at 4:00 on Friday and go until after 2:00 in the morning and come back on Saturday. Coming from an environment that did not show compassion, ambition, and especially anything to do with civic duty, it was my first experience with giving is better than receiving. To this day, I cannot imagine any part of my professional career had it not been for the two time Mississippi Outstanding Band Director and now Phi Beta Mu Hall of Fame, Outstanding Contributor, and band director, Professor Gary Cook.
Now, it is my mission to reach out and help any student and band program I possibly can. Whether it be a talent in any profession, wealth, or physical ability, we need to use our accomplishments to reach out to help others do better.
I challenge each and every one of you to find someone that is a little shy and struggling and give them a call. In the most gentle way possible tell them that you would be glad to help them in any way if they so choose. If they seem hesitant, just show up one day and help them but go through the front door as gently as possible. It could be absolutely the best thing that ever happened to you.
Have you called any one yet? Become a mentor today!!
David Willson,
Director of Bands
University of Mississippi
Published in Phi Beta Mu newsletter
#1, 2007
